Women...we try to be everything to everyone. What is it about us that makes us want to be the perfect mothers, wives, sisters, friends, house-keepers? I remember watching a television show a while back about the roles women play...they mentioned mother, career-woman and wife - and how difficult it is to feel satisfied that you've done a good job in all three areas. They're right on about that, but there are so many other roles women play, too. Most women, when they go to bed at night, aren't completely satisfied with the job they did in every role they played for that day.
You might think that you've done a pretty good job as Mommy on any given day, but feel neglectful of your hubby, or think that you could have done a better job on a project. You might feel like a failure because you didn't get the laundry all done before bed, or because you didn't spend as much time with your kids as you think you should have. You missed the PTA meeting, you're late on a deadline, you barely had time to say two words to the hubby all day...whatever it is, you're guilty of not being perfect. Even when you're superwoman in other peoples' eyes, you might have that little nag at the back of your mind telling you that you could have done better.
I am very guilty of this. I don't like it when I feel like I've come up short in a particular area, especially if it's regarding my 'two little muffins.' I want to feel like I've done all I could to be the best mother to them that I can - every day, and the perfectionist in me often lets me know that I haven't measured up. Whether I forgot to write a note to a teacher or only read a short book at bedtime rather than the long ones we normally do...when I feel like I haven't done enough, it feels just plain yucky.
Sure, it's important to do the best that you can do, but I think it's also important to realize that we are not perfect. As women, we're pretty darn close (hehe), but no one's perfect. So the first thing we need to realize is that just because we may not have gotten the house perfectly clean or went out of our way to show our hubby that he's still the guy that makes us swoon - it doesn't mean we are failures! I think it's important to think about the things we DID accomplish throughout the day, and pat ourselves on the back.
And don't forget - sometimes that 'I-didn't-do-enough feeling' can be cured if you just give the hubby a big kiss and tell him how great he is, or wrap those kiddies up in a bear hug and tell them you love them. You may have missed that PTA meeting or forgot to pack your husband's favorite lunch, but if they know you love them more than the moon and stars - you're doing a pretty darn good job.
Prescription for Failure:
Another thing we as women need to do is take time for ourselves. Sure, many of us simply don't have the luxury of running off to the Caribbean, sipping fruity drinks and having our feet massaged...but a few private moments can help. Run a hot bath and throw in your favorite scented bubbles. Light a few candles and just breathe while you steal those few minutes in peace. Stay up a bit late, cuddle up on the couch with some hot cocoa and watch your favorite television show. Or, get up a little early and steal some workout time while the rest of the family is sleeping. Take time for yourself!
And the next time you feel like you have failed, shake it off. Accept that you feel less than perfect, know that it's not the end of the world, and then throw the feeling away and move on. Consider the things you have accomplished, that you feel proud of, and know that you're wonderful even if you're not actually superwoman!
Image Credits: www.MarkToon.Co.Uk, www.ArthursClipart.org